you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
