At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
