these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
