I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
