I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
