I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just fell off a train. Bad.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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