you would pick up someone in the library
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
