so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
