I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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