Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
