Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
