Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
