She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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