dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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