the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
