fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
