yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
