I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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