cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
