My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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