what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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