There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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