so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
