that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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