Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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