Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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