I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
