You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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