Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
