just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
