You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
