I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
