A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
