I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
