I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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