I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
