I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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