I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize