I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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