I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
