the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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