dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
