smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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