i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
