YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
