Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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