perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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