There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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