the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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