More tranny stories later!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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